What to Expect
During Loss
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Possible First Signs and Symptoms ::
Spotting that becomes bleeding
Uterine cramps/contractions
Increasing back pain
Muscle weakness
High fever
Discharge with blood clots
Severe pain in the belly or abdomen
Low fetal movement
ATTN: If you are experiencing any of the symptoms listed above contact your midwife or other qualified health provider immediately.
1st Trimester Losses ::
First trimester miscarriage is the most common and may look like spotting, light bleeding or heavy bleeding with the passing of clots and other matter. This is a natural process and some studies site as many as 1 in 4 pregnancies resulting in this way. Sometimes what is considered a late or irregular period is actually an undetected miscarriage.
If you experienced a miscarriage and still found yourself pregnant, it may have been a pregnancy of multiples that naturally reduced. Even though you may have miscarried a twin or triplet, you may continue to carry and deliver a healthy sibling or siblings.
A pregnancy of multiples may naturally reduce (miscarrying twin or triplet) but go on to carry and deliver healthy sibling(s).
Missed miscarriage is the loss of fetal heart beat without menstruation commencing to pass the matter. In this case menstruation can be promoted (naturally or with medication) or a medical procedure (also known as an abortion, D&C, D&E or D&X) can be performed and sometimes may require multiple procedures to complete. Simply because the procedure or menstrual promotion is elective doesn’t mean person won’t experience grief, postpartum depression, hormonal imbalance, infection or other types of postpartum adjustments. Understanding, space and care is needed regardless of the circumstances.
More information on medical types of abortion here.
Bleeding in the first trimester does not always indicate loss but is always important to investigate. It’s also important to note that several holistic modalities can fortify implantation or pregnancy. At the first sign of spotting, seek assistance.
First trimester losses sometimes pass undetected. It might just seem like a heavier period or late period. Grief may have a later onset as awareness integrates and hormones regulate.
In an early loss, the formation of the fetus is not usually developed enough that a recognizable form is seen. When passing the matter, clumps and clots will come out either all at once or over the course of a few days.
Regardless of trimester, it is recommended for someone who has experienced a loss to take time off from work to recover physically, mentally and emotionally.
2nd Trimester Losses ::
Pre-term birth in which baby is not fully prepared for embodiment. The baby is not developed enough to survive.
Maternal Injury or illness resulting in or requiring treatment which leads to Phoenix birth.
Missed miscarriage (see 1st trimester for more information).
Medical intervention resulting in baby’s demise.
Chromosomal concern and choice to discontinue. With modern pre-screening technology, sometimes abnormalities are detected in fetus and abortion is recommended. The family has the right to decide what they feel is best.
*Processing Phoenix birth in the 2nd trimester is often influenced by greater external input, as many have settled in to their pregnancy experience and shared it with social and professional spheres. In addition to a physical postpartum healing process for the phoenix parent, there is often a *form to lay to rest as well. This cycle requires acute nurturing as a parent may not have ample space to process and prioritize healing. It’s also recommended for people experiencing 2nd trimester losses to take time off from work to recover physically, mentally and emotionally. Maternity leave is a necessity for all postpartum experiences. Paternity leave also might be needed.
*In 2nd trimester losses, the formation of the fetus is developed enough that funeral arrangements can be arranged. For a hospital birth, the hospital will take the baby to their morgue and use the body for their own purposes if you wish. Some of the ways these babies are memorialized are
3rd Trimester Losses ::
This stage includes all of the above in addition to:
Babies born still. Whether they pass in late gestation, or in the process of being born.
*Demise in birth process is almost always unexpected.
*This experience needs space to process gamut of grief; provider needs to be able to avoid internalizing emotional fluctuation of the phoenix family. (Supportive even amid ‘suspicion’ as parents after unexpected loss must have room to examine all possibilities)
*If the baby passes late in gestation the mother will still need to labor. This birth May begin organically, or with the assistance of natural or medical induction, or it may occur via c-section. Labor is a powerful transmutation opportunity, and mustn’t be categorically avoided in these instances, as the work of labor and birth can provide a cathartic healing context for mothers making peace with their phoenix rising.
More about loss of heart beat / drop in baby’s heart rate.
*If it’s established that a baby’s heart beat has stopped it’s not a medical emergency to get the baby out immediately. Labor can begin on its own. The family may choose how they want to proceed with the birth (home birth, hospital birth, natural induction, medical induction or surgical birth).
*In the instance loss of baby’s heart beat is detected at the hospital during labor while baby is being monitored, a c-section might be recommended by doctors in order to get to the baby as soon as possible and attempt to resuscitate.
*A more common hospital scenario, a c-section will be recommended if the baby’s heart rate drops in order to avoid the possibility of the loss of heart beat. This is actually the #1 cause of c-sections in the US. Midwives who specialize in natural birth question this practice pointing out that a baby’s heart rate naturally fluctuates during labor (especially in the 3rd phase of labor) so this practice is controversial and there are many who believe that the US c-section rate is excessive.
4th Trimester Losses (First 3 Months Postpartum) ::
Babies who pass early in their first 3 months of life are counted with Phoenix births as well.
Sometimes these babies were born in distress and have been living with support.
Sometimes Phoenix babies linger on the precipice.
In the case of babies born in duress, parents have been tasked with balancing tender parenting with their own postpartum needs and may be more deeply depleted. The weight of decision-making in this space may contribute to further fatigue.
Sometimes babies pass unexpectedly in this period due to undetected anomalies or inexplicable circumstances (SIDS). In an instance of sudden and unexpected loss, parents will require specialized postpartum attention, and skilled grief support.
General ::
Phoenix Funerals
Phoenixes born between 2nd and 4th trimester will be developed enough that funeral arrangements may need to be made upon their rising.
Breastmilk
In the 3rd and 4th trimester, the cycle of lactation is established and milk will need to be addressed postpartum.
Some mothers find healing in collecting their milk for donation, others feel better supported by lactation cessation assistance.
Some families will choose to process this experience with funeral rituals and may need assistance with this process.
Baby Supplies
Many families will have accumulated material items for their Phoenix babies, and need to repurpose them.
Relationship
Pregnancy loss can bring a couple closer together or cause stress on a relationship (or both). Therapy or counsel with someone experienced in pregnancy loss and grief within relational dynamics is recommended.
Fertility and Sex Drive
Be mindful that your sex drive or your fertility may be amplified after a loss. If you are returning to sexual activity and do not wish to conceive, be careful to use protection. If you do wish to conceive, make sure you've given your womb enough time to fully release, recalibrate and strengthen. With grieving sometimes our sex drive is reduced. Take as much time as you need before returning to sexual activity.
Time and Space
Give yourself time and space to process this experience.
Spotting that becomes bleeding
Uterine cramps/contractions
Increasing back pain
Muscle weakness
High fever
Discharge with blood clots
Severe pain in the belly or abdomen
Low fetal movement
ATTN: If you are experiencing any of the symptoms listed above contact your midwife or other qualified health provider immediately.
1st Trimester Losses ::
First trimester miscarriage is the most common and may look like spotting, light bleeding or heavy bleeding with the passing of clots and other matter. This is a natural process and some studies site as many as 1 in 4 pregnancies resulting in this way. Sometimes what is considered a late or irregular period is actually an undetected miscarriage.
If you experienced a miscarriage and still found yourself pregnant, it may have been a pregnancy of multiples that naturally reduced. Even though you may have miscarried a twin or triplet, you may continue to carry and deliver a healthy sibling or siblings.
A pregnancy of multiples may naturally reduce (miscarrying twin or triplet) but go on to carry and deliver healthy sibling(s).
Missed miscarriage is the loss of fetal heart beat without menstruation commencing to pass the matter. In this case menstruation can be promoted (naturally or with medication) or a medical procedure (also known as an abortion, D&C, D&E or D&X) can be performed and sometimes may require multiple procedures to complete. Simply because the procedure or menstrual promotion is elective doesn’t mean person won’t experience grief, postpartum depression, hormonal imbalance, infection or other types of postpartum adjustments. Understanding, space and care is needed regardless of the circumstances.
More information on medical types of abortion here.
Bleeding in the first trimester does not always indicate loss but is always important to investigate. It’s also important to note that several holistic modalities can fortify implantation or pregnancy. At the first sign of spotting, seek assistance.
First trimester losses sometimes pass undetected. It might just seem like a heavier period or late period. Grief may have a later onset as awareness integrates and hormones regulate.
In an early loss, the formation of the fetus is not usually developed enough that a recognizable form is seen. When passing the matter, clumps and clots will come out either all at once or over the course of a few days.
Regardless of trimester, it is recommended for someone who has experienced a loss to take time off from work to recover physically, mentally and emotionally.
2nd Trimester Losses ::
Pre-term birth in which baby is not fully prepared for embodiment. The baby is not developed enough to survive.
Maternal Injury or illness resulting in or requiring treatment which leads to Phoenix birth.
Missed miscarriage (see 1st trimester for more information).
Medical intervention resulting in baby’s demise.
Chromosomal concern and choice to discontinue. With modern pre-screening technology, sometimes abnormalities are detected in fetus and abortion is recommended. The family has the right to decide what they feel is best.
*Processing Phoenix birth in the 2nd trimester is often influenced by greater external input, as many have settled in to their pregnancy experience and shared it with social and professional spheres. In addition to a physical postpartum healing process for the phoenix parent, there is often a *form to lay to rest as well. This cycle requires acute nurturing as a parent may not have ample space to process and prioritize healing. It’s also recommended for people experiencing 2nd trimester losses to take time off from work to recover physically, mentally and emotionally. Maternity leave is a necessity for all postpartum experiences. Paternity leave also might be needed.
*In 2nd trimester losses, the formation of the fetus is developed enough that funeral arrangements can be arranged. For a hospital birth, the hospital will take the baby to their morgue and use the body for their own purposes if you wish. Some of the ways these babies are memorialized are
3rd Trimester Losses ::
This stage includes all of the above in addition to:
Babies born still. Whether they pass in late gestation, or in the process of being born.
*Demise in birth process is almost always unexpected.
*This experience needs space to process gamut of grief; provider needs to be able to avoid internalizing emotional fluctuation of the phoenix family. (Supportive even amid ‘suspicion’ as parents after unexpected loss must have room to examine all possibilities)
*If the baby passes late in gestation the mother will still need to labor. This birth May begin organically, or with the assistance of natural or medical induction, or it may occur via c-section. Labor is a powerful transmutation opportunity, and mustn’t be categorically avoided in these instances, as the work of labor and birth can provide a cathartic healing context for mothers making peace with their phoenix rising.
More about loss of heart beat / drop in baby’s heart rate.
*If it’s established that a baby’s heart beat has stopped it’s not a medical emergency to get the baby out immediately. Labor can begin on its own. The family may choose how they want to proceed with the birth (home birth, hospital birth, natural induction, medical induction or surgical birth).
*In the instance loss of baby’s heart beat is detected at the hospital during labor while baby is being monitored, a c-section might be recommended by doctors in order to get to the baby as soon as possible and attempt to resuscitate.
*A more common hospital scenario, a c-section will be recommended if the baby’s heart rate drops in order to avoid the possibility of the loss of heart beat. This is actually the #1 cause of c-sections in the US. Midwives who specialize in natural birth question this practice pointing out that a baby’s heart rate naturally fluctuates during labor (especially in the 3rd phase of labor) so this practice is controversial and there are many who believe that the US c-section rate is excessive.
4th Trimester Losses (First 3 Months Postpartum) ::
Babies who pass early in their first 3 months of life are counted with Phoenix births as well.
Sometimes these babies were born in distress and have been living with support.
Sometimes Phoenix babies linger on the precipice.
In the case of babies born in duress, parents have been tasked with balancing tender parenting with their own postpartum needs and may be more deeply depleted. The weight of decision-making in this space may contribute to further fatigue.
Sometimes babies pass unexpectedly in this period due to undetected anomalies or inexplicable circumstances (SIDS). In an instance of sudden and unexpected loss, parents will require specialized postpartum attention, and skilled grief support.
General ::
Phoenix Funerals
Phoenixes born between 2nd and 4th trimester will be developed enough that funeral arrangements may need to be made upon their rising.
Breastmilk
In the 3rd and 4th trimester, the cycle of lactation is established and milk will need to be addressed postpartum.
Some mothers find healing in collecting their milk for donation, others feel better supported by lactation cessation assistance.
Some families will choose to process this experience with funeral rituals and may need assistance with this process.
Baby Supplies
Many families will have accumulated material items for their Phoenix babies, and need to repurpose them.
Relationship
Pregnancy loss can bring a couple closer together or cause stress on a relationship (or both). Therapy or counsel with someone experienced in pregnancy loss and grief within relational dynamics is recommended.
Fertility and Sex Drive
Be mindful that your sex drive or your fertility may be amplified after a loss. If you are returning to sexual activity and do not wish to conceive, be careful to use protection. If you do wish to conceive, make sure you've given your womb enough time to fully release, recalibrate and strengthen. With grieving sometimes our sex drive is reduced. Take as much time as you need before returning to sexual activity.
Time and Space
Give yourself time and space to process this experience.
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